Overcoming Barriers To Great Sex Through Therapy

Barriers to sexual health are threatening to a relationship. One barrier to sexual health that is often identified is an inability to create emotional bonding with a partner. Emotional bonding is described as an emotional connection between two people and a bundle of subjective feelings that come together to create a bond between the two. Emotional refers to strong feelings that develop. These feelings can be feelings of love, joy, happiness, anger, sadness, sorrow, or any other feelings that people experience.

As many married couples probably know, after being married for a long time, it is easy to lose the connection that once brought the couples together. Everything becomes routine and takes a toll on the relationship and intimacy of the relationship.  How people form an attachment to a romantic partner is one of the most studied topics in the relational sciences. People are designed to form a deep emotional bond to their sexual partner. The lack of this emotional bond affects the sexual relationship and sexual health.

According to Dewitte (2012) article perspective of sexual attachment link: towards an emotional-motivational account, attachment from a partnership or marital commitment is not enough to sustain a healthy sexual relationship. Dewittte (2012) suggests that an emotional bond needs to exist in order to have a healthy sexual relationship. This is true especially in marriages. Couples that do not work on building and maintaining an emotional bond will most likely have an unhealthy sexual relationship. 

The solution is

to work on developing and maintaining an emotional bond in the relationship

through clear communication, affection, passion, kissing, and healthy sexual intimacy.

Sexual attraction is a very important factor in starting an intimate relationship and maintaining it. Without sexual attraction an intimate relationship wouldn’t even start, and if it does without attraction, it would be destined to fail. Experts say that intimate relationships where couples are attracted to each other are more fulfilling and last longer (Miller, 2013).

Kissing is also a major factor in intimate relationships. A kiss is known to represent love, passion, wanting, longing, among other things like affection, and closeness/connection (Levay, 2012).

Moreover, communication is also a pivotal factor in building and maintaining a healthy sexual connection and intimate relationship. In order for an intimate relationship to grow there has to be clear communication. Couples need to express their likes and dislikes and explore together with each other’s consent (Levay, 2012). Without this consent, couples can feel violated and used, which can damage the relationship.

Many couples often feel intimidated or awkward talking about intimacy and this can lead to disconnect in their intimate relationship. Marriage and Couples Counseling can assist in the communication process to address barriers in your relationship and sexual health.  

References:

Dewitte, M. (2012). Different Perspectives on the Sex-Attachment Link: Towards an Emotion-Motivational Account. Journal Of Sex Research, 49(2/3), 105-124. doi:10.1080/00224499.2011.576351

Levay, Simon. Human Sexuality, Fourth Edition,  4th Edition. Sinauer Associates,

20120101. VitalBook file.

Miller, R., Perlman, D., and Brehm, S.S. (2013) Intimate Relationships, 4th Edition, McGrawHill Companies.